What is Responsibility?

In my previous posts, I mentioned a lot about taking care of my kids everyday, bring them to school, cook for them, etc, and it is not an easy job. Most will probably say, that is my responsibility as a father. But then, what exactly is "Responsibility"?

Hmm, I decided to look up The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language for an exact meaning of Responsibility. Here is the definition:

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty

n. pl. re·spon·si·bil·i·ties

1. The state, quality, or fact of being responsible.

2. Something for which one is responsible; a duty, obligation, or burden.

Hmmm, that says it all. "one is responsible; a duty, obligation, or burden". I supposed, the "one" is basically me. So, that means I have a duty that is obliged to complete the job. But, it also says a burden. Huh? A burden?? Hmmm, let me read a little bit more on the dictionary.....

"The obligation to carry forward an assigned task to a successful conclusion. With responsibility goes authority to direct and take the necessary action to ensure success."

Oh ok, so, I guess it basically says it is a tough job, a task or duty that must be done in order to reach a successful conclusion. Probably have to go through some hardship before we can have a successful life. That makes sense.

So I decided to search through the web for a little more details, and find out why taking responsibility is important.

One needs to realize that, taking 100% responsibility of his/her life, is a starting point for all great success and achievements.

Then, what is the effect of not being responsible?
A successful person looks upon him/herself as the cause of what happens in his/her life. He/She understands that he/she is in full control and where he/she is today is a direct reflection of his/her actions in the past.

Responsibility = Control , No Responsibility = No Control

Here is an excerpt i gathered from one of the "Self Improvement Tips" website.

"We feel good about ourselves to the degree in which we feel in complete control of our lives. When we blame other people or things for the way out life is, we loose that control, and with that loss comes a feeling of helplessness and negativity.

If you are able to fully accept responsibility for your life and stop blaming external factors for the way things turn out, you will automatically shed that feeling of helplessness and negativity.

In turn, this will be replaced with a feeling of control, confidence and high self esteem. Everything you need to be successful in life.

Just remember that where you are today is a result of your actions in the past. therefore, your future will be a result of what you do today.

Make sure you understand this and start accepting full responsibility for your life today, so that you can create the future you want for tomorrow."


Hmmm, this has certainly brighten up my day ! Hope you have a good day too...

On the way back to Ipoh - on 29Aug2009

Thomas working on his mental arithmetric, on the train floor

Kids at the Park.....I mean at the Playground

Ok, it was Sunday. Rained almost all day. Finally, ard 5.30pm, the rain stopped. Wanted to go to the park with the kids, but looking at the sky, not sure it would rain again. So decided to go to the neighborhood playground. Thomas wanted to go out to play badminton, and Step wanted to go out walk2, run2. Ok, so ard 6pm, we went out, stopped by the bread shop to get some bread while enrouting to the playground.....need to fill up my stomach a little as i was hungry....

So, at the playground, as usual, the kids started to run around the playground, play with the facilities, etc, and I was sitting at the playground seat to enjoy my bread....yam bread.

Then, the 2 kids moved to exercise section (it is just next to playground). Thomas met one ang mo (I think American-Singaporean mix), and they started making friends and play together. Step, as usual, will join the brother to mix with his new found friend. Nothing unusual, just normal kids playing. Then they played with one of the exercise equipments....i think it is called the hang-bar. Basically, an overhead bar that a person hangs himself off the ground and then tried to lift himself higher. For the 2 elder kids (the ang mo and Thomas)....no problem. They can reach the bar easily. The ang mo was challenging Thomas to hold on one bar and use the legs to touch another bar. First, the ang mo kid went first. Lifted himself, then do a high kick, and he touched the bar. Second, Thomas turn. Lifted him up as the ang mo kid, then tried to do a couple of high kicks, but unfortunately, didnt manage to touch the next bar. So, now, it is Step's turn. Opps, she couldnt reach the first bar, whats more the second bar. I mean even the first bar that she tried to grab also couldnt reach. She tried to jump up and down to grab, but yet still couldnt, knowingly that it's still about 6 to 8 inches to reach the bar.

Then the brother gave her encouragement and shouted to her to jump higher. The brother even did a count down to prepare her. So, she armed herself with the determination, the encouragement, bend her legs a little bit, and then.....countdown started....5....4...3...2...1.....GO! She them jumped up and amazingly....she actually reached the first bar and lifted herself off the ground, then the brother and the ang mo kid were cheering at her. Man....I was laughing from what she did..... It was so funny. Unfortunately, the mommy was away, not there to witness that, otherwise she would probably laugh also.

Well, she may just a 3 year old kid, and may not know what is determination and encouragement. To her, it is just a play thing. but given the determination and the encouragement, she just did the almost impossible task. After she managed to do that, I can see the satisfaction and happiness shown on her face.

Come to think about it, even a 3 years old kid can do something almost impossible, whats more with an adult? As a adult, we should have more determination and focus on the tasks that we want to accomplish. What seems an impossible task to do may actually easier to accomplish when we put in our effort, energy, focus and determination.... It may sound easy, but bottom line is, if we dont try, we will never accomplish it.

Anyway, it is really interesting and really happy to see what she just did.

Bicycle? Why bicycle? Why not just take a car/taxi/bus/train??

By now, you probably read abt me using bicycle quite a bit. But, bicycle?? Come on...isnt bicycles are for the poor who cant affort car or public transport. Isnt taking bicycle look very "siar sui" and ppl may look down on you??

Let me tell you my side of my story. I have been riding bicycle for most of my growing years. I love cycling. I used to cycle a lot when I was young. I still remember, I used to race bicycle with my elder brother, when we were like 8-9yrs old. We used to cycle around the neighborhood, and sometimes even beyond the neighborhood. That continued all the way till our teenage years. We used to go cycling when we had free time. Also, we spent quite a bit time modifying our bicycles.

When I went overseas at the age of 16, I was a newpaper boy, who used bicycle to deliver newspaper every morning. Then in university time, I also cycled quite a bit, but not as much as last time. Then, after graduated and started working (in Penang), I cycled almost every evenings after work. Either cycled to buy my dinner or just for the joy of cycling.

Now, in Singapore, I use the bicycle almost on a daily basis. Most of the time, I used it to send the kids to school, back from school, to Tommy jai's maths & piano classes. Sometimes to the grocery stores, to the kopi tiam to get some meals...

Now, back to the question of why not just drive a car or take taxi/bus/train? For those who dont cycle, or rarely cycle, you just dont understand the joy of riding a bicycle. Riding a bicycle is much more nicer than driving. You can go a lot farther and a lot faster than walking, you can enjoy the scenery along the way. And when u reach your destination, you dont need to find a car park. Just drop it off to the nearest corridor, or entrance or under the tree. When riding, you can go whereever you want to go. You can go places that a car cant. You are not afraid of no parking lot, you are not afraid of traffic jam. Driving a car just wont have this kind of "luxury".

Then how abt taking a taxi or bus? Hey, as I always tell my son, I hate to wait for the bus, especially the Bus 59 that goes to his maths center. Typically, we have to wait for 25mins for one to come. Taxi? After factor in the time to catch for a taxi, and the fares, it is not that much better than biking.

Well, of cos, there are times that driving car is much much better than a bike. Like during raining day, hot day, long distance etc, in the comfort of your car with aircond. Sure, but for most of the days, riding a bike to places that are not too far, is still the best option .

So, that is the practical part. Bottom line is riding a bike is not just fun but....

1. Economical to travel around your neighborhood. You dont need to bother if the petrol price is up or down. You pretty much care less.
2. Consider it as your daily exercise. Think abt it. If you are a working person, how often do you really exercise everyday? Exercise is good for health, and health is very important.
3. Good for the environment. Hey, biking helps to shrink our planet's carbon footprint. No one can complain abt taht.

Of cos, there are many other benefits but having a good health from regular exercise alone is enough for me to continue this habit.

My wife often complains to me of spending so much time on my bike (especially fixing my bike). Hopefully, after reading this she realizes that biking has been part of my life for a long time. Riding is one, fixing the bike to make sure it is in tiptop condition is another.

Bike fixed then sent the boy to maths class

Remember, I mentioned that my bicycle broke down the day before, and we had to walk/take bus/train to school? Before my boy is due to attend his CMA class, I actually got it fixed while the kids are having their dinner. They had mee-suah for dinner. The kids were pretty good yerterday, and they had their dinner by themselves while I tried to get my bike fixed so that I can bring them to the maths class.

Took me abt 20mins, and I finally got it fixed. Clock is pointing at 7PM, and his class starts at 7.30pm. So, quickly get myself and themselves ready to hit the road.

Reached there around 7.20pm....not bad considering that it is abt 2+km away. After dropping him off at the class, I headed back home....At home, I looked looked, checked checked, and looks like my bike still needed some minor adjustments. Ok, got my spannar out, and after abt 5 mins, got it really fixed.

Then got some free time at home, login to the net, and chit chat a bit. Wanted to chat with her a little bit more on something, but I think she was too busy playing games... so bit it la.

Then abt 8.30pm, it is time to hit the road again to pick my my boy from school. Realized that still hvnt had dinner yet. Stomach already started grumbling. Quickly told girl2 to get ready. She went straight to the door. She likes to follow me to go out, especially, going out to send the brother to classes. Doors locked and she hopped onto my bike and off we go....

Went downstairs, look see, look see.... seems like nothing much to eat. Then, moved on to another kopi tiam.... saw chicken rice shop still open... so, "Uncle, jee fan yit paan, say say"...

5 mins later after I have my stomach filled, we got onto the bike and we headed towards to pick up Tommy jai...

On the way there, girl2 told me, she wants to pass motion....on man, where to find toilet there? Somemore, we are short of time. My phone clock is showing 8.56pm. Ok, told her to tahan a little bit. When reached the maths center, she went straight to the ladies toilet, and released herself while i waited outside. A few minutes later, she was done. I asked her to use the toilet paper to clean herself up, but I am not sure if she actually did that, or did that properly. Anyway.... waited for a minute or two, and here comes the Tommy jai.... as usual smiling and laughing.. Then both hopped on to the bike and off we go. Headed straight home......

Taking care of the kids while wife is away

My wife is currently away, so I have to take care of the kids everyday. Basically, hv to wake them up in the morning, make milk, get them to clean up, dressed up, prepared them to get ready for school. Send them off to school.

In the evening, I ll hv to pick them up from the school, then prepare their dinner when reach home. I used to bathe them, but since their mother is away, I ll get them to bathe themselves. Sometimes, the did well, but most of the time, they ll just stay inside for hours (well, literally speaking...) and play. So, at the end i still need to get myself inside the bathroom and eventually get them showered and come out.

By that time, the dinner is ready. So far, they have been pretty cooperative, and they feed themselves. Occationally, still need me to push a bit, especially the younger one.

After dinner, usually, they ll have some playtime. They will get their favorite toys and play with each other. While they are at it, i ll take the chance to clean up and take a bath. By then, it would be ard 9pm or so. Study time for Thomas (my elder boy) and Stephanie (my girl). As usual, the boy will usually do the maths, and the girl will do the coloring/drawing.

Abt 10plus, it is milk time (or "nen-nen time", as they called it). Then played for another short while, and it is time to hit the sack....

So, thats abt my days' work taking care of the 2 kids. I can tell you, it is definitely not easy, and in some instances, get pretty exhaustive. Also, at times, may also get really angry, frustrated and tired when the 2 kids are not cooperating well. But, most of the time they are okay. Well, it is hard work, it is frustrating, it is tiring, it is exhausive, but when i see them happy and the smiles on their face, it just makes my day. They are 2 very adorable kids....They are naughty and playful sometimes, but still adorable.

But then think abt it, who says taking care of kids is easy.....

Start of the day.....

ok, since i dont have any specific topic to talk abt, just thought I just start if off with "Start of the Day..."

Yesterday, i was woken up by another mosquitos around 2AM. They were buzzing around my ears, I just couldnt stand it, but woke up and wanted to kill them. Turned on the lights and was sitting there for 10 mins and no sights of the mosquitos. Checked on the 2 kids to see if there were any signs of mosquito bites. Fortunately none. Wanted to go back to sleep, but couldnt sleep.

Since is well awake, i went online to see if my wife is online so that chat a bit (She is away currently) but she is offline.
Then i took the chance to read up a bit of the bible...Titus 2:4-5 about husband, wife, and happy family. Will talk more on that later.

After reading for awhile, i felt kinda sleepy, so, i head to the bed. In less thank 5mins, i zzzzz'ed off.

Woke up in the morning, and suddenly realized that it is already 8AM. Usually I wake up at 7.30am. Then quickly, I rushed to get the clothes hung, and prepared milk for the kids. Gets the kids up and prepared for school. In less than 30mins we were ready leave the house......Opps suddently forgot to get water bottle for the kids. Rushed back to fill their bottles, but realized that not a single drops of water for them. I think the guy staying in the back room comsumed all. Anyway, I told the kids to get the water from their respective teachers.

So, off we go with the empty bottles, and head straight to the MRT. Usually, I send them there by bicycle, but my bike broke down yesterday, and under repaired....out of order, u can say that.
So, we took the MRT then the bus to school. The kids enjoy taken train and bus.

Reached school ard 9.15am, and after dropped them off, i headed for work. Again, took, the similar bus route, and then the train. By 9.40am, reached company.

So, as usual work, work work...